Barney Willow's life couldn't get any worse. He's weedy, with sticky-out ears. Horrible Gavin Needle loves tormenting him. And evil headteacher Miss Whipmire seems determined to make Barney's existence a complete misery! Worst of all, Dad has been missing for almost a year - and there's no sign of him ever coming home. Barney just wants to escape. To find another life. To be a cat, for example. A quiet, lazy cat. Things would be so much easier - wouldn't they? A darkly funny and adventurous tale from multi-award-winning author Matt Haig.